DCLXXXIV.—LAWYER'S HOUSE.
The lawyer's house, if I have rightly read,
Is built upon the fool or madman's head.
DCLXXXV.—A REASONABLE DEMAND.
Colonel B—— was remarkably fat, and coming one night out of the playhouse, called a chair; but while he was preparing to squeeze into it, a friend, who was stepping into his chariot, called out to him, "B——, I go by your door, and will set you down." B—— gave the chairman a shilling, and was going; when one of them scratched his head, and hoped his honor would give him more than a shilling. "For what, you scoundrel? when I never got into your chair?"—"But consider the fright your honor put us into," replied Pat,—"consider the fright!"
DCLXXXVI.—EBENEZER ADAMS.
This celebrated Quaker, on visiting a lady of rank, whom he found six months after the death of her husband, sitting on a sofa covered with black cloth, and in all the dignity of woe, approached her with great solemnity, and gently taking her by the hand, thus accosted her: "So friend, I see that thou hast not yet forgiven God Almighty." This seasonable reproof had such an effect upon the person to whom it was addressed, that she immediately laid aside her trappings of grief, and went about her necessary business and avocations.
DCLXXXVII.—ONE BITE AT A CHERRY.
A young fellow once offered to kiss a Quakeress. "Friend," said she, "thee must not do it."—"O, by Jove! but I must," said the youth. "Well, friend, as thee hast sworn, thee may do it, but thee must not make a practice of it."
DCLXXXVIII.—A FIG FOR THE GROCER!
When Abernethy was canvassing for the office of surgeon to St. Bartholomew's Hospital, he called upon a rich grocer. The great man, addressing him, said, "I suppose, sir, you want my vote and interest at this momentous epoch of your life."—"No, I don't," said Abernethy. "I want a pennyworth of figs; come, look sharp and wrap them up; I want to be off!"