DCXCVI.—FATIGUE DUTY.
A certain reverend gentleman in the country was complaining to another that it was a great fatigue to preach twice a day. "Oh!" said the other, "I preach twice every Sunday, and make nothing of it."
DCXCVII.—GLUTTONS AND EPICURES.
Stephen Kemble (who was very fat) and Mrs. Esten, were crossing the Frith, when a gale sprang up, which alarmed the passengers. "Suppose, Mr. Kemble," said Mrs. Esten; "suppose we become food for fishes, which of us two do you think they will eat first?"—"Those that are gluttons," replied the comedian, "will undoubtedly fall foul of me, but the epicures will attack you!"
DCXCVIII.—A BAD END.
It was told of Jekyll, that one of his friends, a brewer, had been drowned in his own vat. "Ah!" he exclaimed, "floating in his own watery bier."
DCXCIX.—ON THE NAME OF KEOPALANI (QUEEN OF THE SANDWICH ISLANDS), WHICH SIGNIFIES "THE DROPPING OF THE CLOUDS FROM HEAVEN."
This name's the best that could be given,
As will by proof be quickly seen;
For "dropping from the clouds from Heaven,"
She was, of course, the raining Queen.
DCC.—ACCOMMODATING PRINCIPLES.
In one of Sir Robert Walpole's letters, he gives a very instructive picture of a skilful minister and a condescending Parliament. "My dear friend," writes Sir Robert, "there is scarcely a member whose purse I do not know to a sixpence, and whose very soul almost I could not purchase at the offer. The reason former ministers have been deceived in this matter is evident—they never considered the temper of the people they had to deal with. I have known a minister so weak as to offer an avaricious old rascal a star and garter, and attempt to bribe a young rogue, who set no value upon money, with a lucrative employment. I pursue methods as opposite as the poles, and therefore my administration has been attended with a different effect."