DCCX.—EQUALITY.
A highwayman and a chimney-sweeper were condemned to be hanged the same time at Tyburn,—the first for an exploit on the highway, the latter for a more ignoble robbery. "Keep farther off, can't you?" said the highwayman, with some disdain. "Sir," replied the sweep, "I won't keep off; I have as much right to be here as you!"
DCCXI.—A CANDID COUNSEL.
An Irish counsel being asked by the judge for whom was he concerned, replied, "I am concerned for the plaintiff, but I'm retained by the defendant."
DCCXII.—TRADE AGAINST LAND.
When the late Mr. Whitbread's father, the brewer, first opposed the Duke of Bedford's interest at Bedford, the Duke informed him that he would spend £50,000 rather than he should come in. Whitbread, with true English spirit, replied, that was nothing; the sale of his grains would pay for that.
DCCXIII.—TRUE EVIDENCE.
A Jew called on to justify bail in the Court of Common Pleas, the opposing counsel thus examined him: "What is your name?"—"Jacob."—"What are you?"—"General dealer."—"Do you keep a shop?"—"No."—"How then do you dispose of your goods?"—"To the best advantage, my good fellow."
DCCXIV.—DR. YOUNG.
Dr. Young was walking in his garden at Welwyn, in company with two ladies (one of whom he afterwards married), when the servant came to acquaint him a gentleman wished to speak with him. As he refused to go, one lady took him by the right arm, the other by the left, and led him to the garden-gate; when, finding resistance in vain, he bowed, laid his hand upon his heart, and spoke the following lines:—