DCCXXIX.—EXAGGERATION.
A man was boasting before a companion of his very strong sight. "I can discern from here a mouse on the top of that very high tower."—"I don't see it," answered, his comrade; "but I hear it running."
DCCXXX.—WINNING A LOSS.
A swell clerk from London, who was spending an evening in a country inn full of company, and feeling secure in the possession of most money, made the following offer. "I will drop money into a hat with any man in the room. The man who holds out the longest to have the whole and treat the company."—"I'll do it," said a farmer. The swell dropped in half a sovereign. The countryman followed with a sixpence. "Go on," said the swell. "I won't," said the farmer; "take the whole, and treat the company."
DCCXXXI.—ADVICE GRATIS.
On the trial of a cause in the Court of Common Pleas, Mr. Serjeant Vaughan having asked a witness a question rather of law than of fact, Lord Chief Justice Eldon observed, "Brother Vaughan, this is not quite fair; you wish the witness to give you, for nothing, what you would not give him under two guineas."
DCCXXXII.—SHORT COMMONS.
At a shop-window in the Strand there appeared the following notice: "Wanted, two apprentices, who will be treated as one of the family."
CCXXXIII.—LICENSED TO KILL.
When an inferior actor at the Haymarket once took off David Garrick, Foote limped from the boxes to the green-room, and severely rated him for his impudence. "Why, sir," said the fellow, "you take him off every day, and why may not I?"—"Because," replied the satirist, "you are not qualified to kill game, and I am."