DCCCXLIII.—A STOP WATCH.
A gentleman missing his watch in a crowd at the theatre, observed, with great coolness, that he should certainly recover it, having bought it of a friend who had introduced it to the particular acquaintance of every Pawnbroker within the Bills of Mortality.
DCCCXLIV.—SIR ANTHONY MALONE.
Lord Mansfield used to remark that a lawyer could do nothing without his fee. This is proved by the following fact: Sir Anthony Malone, some years ago Attorney-General of Ireland, was a man of abilities in his profession, and so well skilled in the practice of conveyancing that no person ever entertained the least doubt of the validity of a title that had undergone his inspection; on which account he was generally applied to by men of property in transactions of this nature. It is, however, no less singular than true, that such was the carelessness and inattention of this great lawyer in matters of this sort that related to himself, that he made two bad bargains, for want only of the same attentive examination of the writings for which he was celebrated, in one of which he lost property to the amount of three thousand pounds a year. Disturbed by these losses, whenever for the future he had a mind to purchase an estate for himself, he gave the original writings to his principal clerk, who made a correct transcript of them; this transcript was then handed to Sir Anthony, and five guineas (his fee) along with it, which was regularly charged to him by the clerk. Sir Anthony then went over the deeds with his accustomed accuracy and discernment, and never after that was possessed of a bad title.
DCCCXLV.—THE ORATORS.
To wonder now at Balaam's ass, is weak;
Is there a day that asses do not speak?
DCCCXLVI.—MODERN ACTING.
Jerrold was told that a certain well-puffed tragedian, who has a husky voice, was going to act Cardinal Wolsey,
Jerrold.—"Cardinal Wolsey!—Linsey Wolsey!"