Major B——, a great gambler, said to Foote, "Since I last saw you, I have lost an eye."—"I am sorry for it," said Foote, "pray at what game?"
DCCCLVIII.—THE TIME OUT OF JOINT.
Some one who had been down in Lord Kenyon's kitchen, remarked that he saw the spit shining as bright as if it had never been used. "Why do you mention his spit?" said Jekyll; "you must know that nothing turns upon that." In reference to the same noble lord, Jekyll observed, "It was Lent all the year round in the kitchen, and Passion week in the parlor."
DCCCLIX.—MONEY'S WORTH.
A soldier, having retired from service, thought to raise a few pounds by writing his adventures. Having completed the manuscript, he offered it to a bookseller for forty pounds. It was a very small volume, and the bookseller was much surprised at his demand. "My good sir," replied the author, "as a soldier I have always resolved to sell my life as dearly as possible."
DCCCLX.—HIS WAY—OUT.
Sir Richard Jebb, the famous physician, who was very rough and harsh in his manner, once observed to a patient to whom he had been extremely rude, "Sir, it is my way."—"Then," returned his indignant patient, pointing to the door, "I beg you will make that your way!"
DCCCLXI.—A GROWL.
He that's married once may be
Pardoned his infirmity.
He that marries twice is mad:
But, if you can find a fool
Marrying thrice, don't spare the lad,—
Flog him, flog him back to school.