Charles II. and his brother James went to see Milton, to reproach him, and finished a profusion of insults with saying, "You old villain! your blindness is the visitation of Providence for your sins."—"If Providence," replied the venerable bard, "has punished my sins with blindness, what must have been the crimes of your father which it punished with death!"
DCCCLXXX.—WHOSE?
Sydney Smith being ill, his physician advised him to "take a walk upon an empty stomach."—"Upon whose?" said he.
DCCCLXXXI.—"PUPPIES NEVER SEE TILL THEY ARE NINE DAYS OLD."
It is related, that when a former Bishop of Bristol held the office of Vice-Chancellor of the University of Cambridge, he one day met a couple of undergraduates, who neglected to pay the accustomed compliment of capping. The bishop inquired the reason of the neglect. The two men begged his lordship's pardon, observing they were freshmen, and did not know him. "How long have you been in Cambridge?" asked his lordship. "Only eight days," was the reply. "Very good," said the bishop, "puppies never see till they are nine days old."
DCCCLXXXII.—EPIGRAM.
(On Lord W——'s saying the independence of the House of Lords is gone.)
"The independence of the Lords is gone,"
Says W——, to truth for once inclined;
And to believe his lordship I am prone,
Seeing that he himself is left behind.
DCCCLXXXIII.—CONFIDENCE—TAKEN FROM THE FRENCH.
On the first night of the representation of one of Jerrold's pieces, a successful adaptator from the French rallied him on his nervousness. "I," said the adaptator, "never feel nervous on the first night of my pieces."—"Ah, my boy," Jerrold replied, "you are always certain of success. Your pieces have all been tried before."