DCCCXCIV.—A SOPORIFIC.
A spendthrift being sold up, Foote, who attended every day, bought nothing but a pillow; on which a gentleman asked him, "What particular use he could have for a single pillow?"—"Why," said Foote, "I do not sleep very well at night, and I am sure this must give me many a good nap, when the proprietor of it (though he owed so much) could sleep upon it."
DCCCXCV.—CHARITABLE WIT.
Wit in an influential form was displayed by the Quaker gentleman soliciting subscription for a distressed widow, for whom everybody expressed the greatest sympathy. "Well," said he, "everybody declares he is sorry for her; I am truly sorry—I am sorry five pounds. How much art thou sorry, friend? and thou? and thou?" He was very successful, as may be supposed. One of those to whom the case was described said he felt very much, indeed, for the poor widow. "But hast thou felt in thy pocket?" inquired the "Friend."
DCCCXCVI.—USE IS SECOND NATURE.
A tailor that was ever accustomed to steal some of the cloth his customer brought, when he came one day to make himself a suit, stole half-a-yard. His wife perceiving it, asked the reason; "Oh," said he, "it is to keep my hands in use, lest at any time I should forget it."
DCCCXCVII.—EPIGRAM.
(On a certain M.P.'s indisposition.)
Haste son of Celsus, P—rc—v—l is ill;
Dissect an ass before you try your skill.