CMVI.—AN EQUIVOCATION.
A diminutive attorney, named Else, once asked Jekyll: "Sir, I hear you have called me a pettifogging scoundrel. Have you done so, sir?"—"No, sir," said Jekyll, with a look of contempt. "I never said you were a pettifogger, or a scoundrel; but I did say you were little Else."
CMVII.—A WISE FOOL.
A person wishing to test whether a daft individual, about whom a variety of opinions were entertained,—some people thinking him not so foolish as he seemed,—knew the value of money, held out a sixpence and a penny, and offered him his choice. "I'll tak' the wee ane," he says, giving as his modest reason, "I'se no' be greedy." At another time, a miller, laughing at him for his witlessness, he said, "Some things I ken, and some I dinna ken." On being asked what he knew, he said, "I ken a miller has aye a gey fat sou."—"An' what d'ye no ken?" said the miller. "Ou," he returned, "I dinna ken at wha's expense she's fed."
CMVIII.—ON A BALD HEAD.
My hair and I are quit, d'ye see;
I first cut him, he now cuts me.
CMIX.—LIE FOR LIE.
Two gentlemen standing together, as a young lady passed by them, one said, "There goes the handsomest woman you ever saw." She turned back, and, seeing him very ugly, said, "I wish I could, in return, say as much of you."—"So you may, madam," said he, "and lie as I did."
CMX.—A MAN WITHOUT A RIVAL.
General Lee one day found Dr. Cutting, the army surgeon, who was a handsome and dressy man, arranging his cravat complacently before a glass. "Cutting," said Lee, "you must be the happiest man in creation."—"Why, general?"—"Because," replied Lee, "you are in love with yourself, and you have not a rival upon earth."