CMXXXII.—LATE AND EARLY.
The regular routine of clerkly business ill suited the literary tastes and the wayward habits of Charles Lamb. Once, at the India House, a superior said to him, "I have remarked, Mr. Lamb, that you come very late to the office."—"Yes, sir," replied the wit, "but you must remember that I go away early." The oddness of the excuse silenced the reprover.
CMXXXIII.—FAIR PLAY.
Curran, who was a very small man, having a dispute with a brother counsel (who was a very stout man), in which words ran high on both sides, called him out. The other, however, objected. "You are so little," said he, "that I might fire at you a dozen times without hitting, whereas, the chance is that you may shoot me at the first fire."—"To convince you," cried Curran, "I don't wish to take any advantage, you shall chalk my size upon your body, and all hits out of the ring shall go for nothing."
CMXXXIV.—SOMETHING LACKING.
Hook was walking one day with a friend, when the latter, pointing out on a dead wall an incomplete inscription, running, "Warren's B——," was puzzled at the moment for the want of the context. "'Tis lacking that should follow," observed Hook, in explanation.
CMXXXV.—THE HONEST MAN'S LITANY.
From a wife of small fortune, but yet very proud,
Who values herself on her family's blood:
Who seldom talks sense, but for ever is loud,
Libera me!
From living i' th' parish that has an old kirk,
Where the parson would rule like a Jew or a Turk,
And keep a poor curate to do all his work,
Libera me!
From a justice of peace who forgives no offence,
But construes the law in its most rigid sense,
And still to bind over will find some pretence,
Libera me!