"Come here, Johnny, and tell me what the four seasons are." Young Prodigy: "Pepper, salt, mustard, and vinegar."
CMXLV.—NOT AT HOME.
A weaver, after enjoying his potations, pursued his way home through the churchyard, his vision and walking somewhat impaired. As he proceeded, he diverged from the path, and unexpectedly stumbled into a partially made grave. Stunned for a while, he lay in wonder at his descent, and after some time he got out, but he had not proceeded much further when a similar calamity befell him. At this second fall, he was heard, in a tone of wonder and surprise, to utter the following exclamation, referring to what he considered the untenanted graves, "Ay! ir ye a' up an' awa?"
CMXLVI.—LINCOLN'S-INN DINNERS.
On the evening of the coronation-day of our gracious Queen, the Benchers of Lincoln's Inn gave the students a feed; when a certain profane wag, in giving out a verse of the National Anthem, which he was solicited to lead in a solo, took that opportunity of stating a grievance as to the modicum of port allowed, in manner and form following:—
"Happy and glorious"—
Three half-pints 'mong four of us,
Heaven send no more of us,
God save the Queen!
which ridiculous perversion of the author's meaning was received with a full chorus, amid tremendous shouts of laughter and applause.
CMXLVII.—WHY ARE WOMEN BEARDLESS?
How wisely Nature, ordering all below,
Forbade a beard on woman's chin to grow,
For how could she be shaved (whate'er the skill)
Whose tongue would never let her chin be still!