LXXXIX.—HERO-PHOBIA.
When George II. was once expressing his admiration of General Wolfe, some one observed that the General was mad. "Oh! he is mad, is he!" said the king, with great quickness, "then I wish he would bite some other of my generals."
XC.—LYING CONSISTENTLY.
Two old ladies, who were known to be of the same age, had the same desire to keep the real number concealed; one therefore used upon a New-year's-day to go to the other, and say, "Madam, I am come to know how old we are to be this year."
XCI.—NOT RIGHT.
A prisoner being called on to plead to an indictment for larceny, was told by the clerk to hold up his right hand. The man immediately held up his left hand. "Hold up your right hand," said the clerk. "Please your honor," said the culprit, still keeping up his left hand, "I am left-handed."
XCII.—LIGHT-HEADED.
Dr. Burney, who wrote the celebrated anagram on Lord Nelson, after his victory of the Nile, "Honor est a Nilo" (Horatio Nelson), was shortly after on a visit to his lordship, at his beautiful villa at Merton. From his usual absence of mind, he neglected to put a nightcap into his portmanteau, and consequently borrowed one from his lordship. Before retiring to rest, he sat down to study, as was his common practice, having first put on the cap, and was shortly after alarmed by finding it in flames; he immediately collected the burnt remains, and returned them with the following lines:—
"Take your nightcap again, my good lord, I desire,
I would not retain it a minute;
What belongs to a Nelson, wherever there's fire,
Is sure to be instantly in it."