MXI.—CALUMNY.
George the Third once said to Sir J. Irwin, a famous bon-vivant, "They tell me, Sir John, you love a glass of wine."—"Those, sire, who have so reported me to your Majesty," answered he, bowing profoundly, "do me great injustice; they should have said,—a bottle!"
MXII.—LOVE.
They say love's like the measles,—all the worse when it comes late in life.—D.J.
MXIII.—ANY CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.
A very plain actor being addressed on the stage, "My lord, you change countenance"; a young fellow in the pit cried, "For heaven's sake, let him!"
MXIV.—TOO FAST.
Two travellers were robbed in a wood, and tied to trees. One of them in despair exclaimed, "O, I am undone!"—"Are you?" said the other joyfully; "then I wish you'd come and undo me."
MXV.—A REVERSE JOKE.
A soldier passing through a meadow, a large mastiff ran at him, and he stabbed the dog with a bayonet. The master of the dog asked him why he had not rather struck the dog with the butt-end of his weapon? "So I should," said the soldier, "if he had run at me with his tail!"