An Irishman once ordered a painter to draw his picture, and to represent him standing behind a tree.
MLXI.—IN WANT OF A HUSBAND.
A young lady was told by a married lady, that she had better precipitate herself from off the rocks of the Passaic falls into the basin beneath than marry. The young lady replied, "I would, if I thought I should find a husband at the bottom."
MLXII.—THREE ENDS TO A ROPE.
A lad applied to the captain of a vessel for a berth; the captain, wishing to intimidate him, handed him a piece of rope, and said, "If you want to make a good sailor, you must make three ends to the rope."—"I can do it," he readily replied; "here is one, and here is another,—that makes two. Now, here's the third," and he threw it overboard.
MLXIII.—THE REASON WHY.
Foote was once asked, why learned men are to be found in rich men's houses, and rich men never to be seen in those of the learned. "Why," said he, "the first know what they want, but the latter do not."
MLXIV.—PERSONALITIES OF GARRICK AND QUIN.
When Quin and Garrick performed at the same theatre, and in the same play, one night, being very stormy, each ordered a chair. To the mortification of Quin, Garrick's chair came up first. "Let me get into the chair," cried the surly veteran, "let me get into the chair, and put little Davy into the lantern."—"By all means," rejoined Garrick, "I shall ever be happy to enlighten Mr. Quin in anything."