Sir John Hamilton, who had severely suffered from the persecutions of the law, used to say, that an attorney was like a hedgehog, it was impossible to touch him anywhere without pricking one's fingers.
XCIX.—"THE MIXTURE AS BEFORE."
A gentleman who had an Irish servant, having stopped at an inn for several days, desired to have a bill, and found a large quantity of port placed to his servant's account, and questioned him about it. "Please your honor," cried Pat, "do read how many they charge me." The gentleman began, "One bottle port, one ditto, one ditto, one ditto,"—"Stop, stop, stop, master," exclaimed Paddy, "they are cheating you. I know I had some bottles of their port, but I did not taste a drop of their ditto."
C.—COMPUTATION.
An Irish counsellor having lost his cause, which had been tried before three judges, one of whom was esteemed a very able lawyer, and the other two but indifferent, some of the other barristers were very merry on the occasion. "Well, now," says he, "I have lost. But who could help it, when there were an hundred judges on the bench?—one and two ciphers."
CI.—PRIMOGENITURE.
An Irish clergyman having gone to visit the portraits of the Scottish kings in Holyrood House, observed one of the monarchs of a very youthful appearance, while his son was depicted with a long beard, and wore the traits of extreme old age. "Sancta Maria," exclaimed the good Hibernian, "is it possible that this gentleman was an old man when his father was born!!"
CII.—CHECK TO THE KING.
One day James the Second, in the middle of his courtiers, made use of this assertion: "I never knew a modest man make his way at court." To this observation one of the gentlemen present boldly replied: "And, please your majesty, whose fault is that?" The king was struck, and remained silent.