A farm was lately advertised in a newspaper, in which all the beauty of the situation, fertility of the soil, and salubrity of the air were detailed in the richest flow of rural description, which was further enhanced with this,—N.B. There is not an attorney within fifteen miles of the neighborhood.
CIX.—QUITE PERFECTION.
A painter in the Waterloo Road had the following announcement displayed on the front of his house: "The Acme of Stencil!" A "learned Theban" in the same line in an adjoining street, in order to outdo the "old original" stenciller, thus set forth his pretensions: "Stencilling in all its branches performed in the very height of acme!"
CX.—THE LATE MR. COLLINS.
Collins the poet, coming into a town the day after a young lady, of whom he was fond, had left it, said, how unlucky he was that he had come a day after the fair.
CXI.—A FAMILY PARTY.
A certain lodging-house was very much infested by vermin. A gentleman who slept there one night, told the landlady so in the morning, when she said, "La, sir, we haven't a single bug in the house."—"No ma'am," said he, "they're all married, and have large families too."
CXII.—CALF'S HEAD SURPRISED.
A stupid person one day seeing a man of learning enjoying the pleasures of the table, said, "So, sir, philosophers, I see, can indulge in the greatest delicacies."—"Why not," replied the other, "do you think Providence intended all the good things for fools?"