MCCV.—HOW TO GET RID OF AN ENEMY.
Dr. Mead, calling one day on a gentleman who had been severely afflicted with the gout, found, to his surprise, the disease gone, and the patient rejoicing on his recovery over a bottle of wine. "Ah!" said the doctor, shaking his head, "this Madeira will never do; it is the cause of all your suffering."—"Well, then," rejoined the gay incurable, "fill your glass, for now we have found out the cause, the sooner we get rid of it the better."
MCCVI.—SEVERE.
A lady asked a sailor whom she met, why a ship was called "she." The son of Neptune replied that it was "because the rigging cost more than the hull."
MCCVII.—NO SACRIFICE.
A linen-draper having advertised his stock to be sold under prime cost, a neighbor observed that, "It was impossible, as he had never paid a farthing for it himself."
MCCVIII.—SHARP BOY.
A mother admonishing her son (a lad about seven years of age), told him he should never defer till to-morrow what he could do to-day. The little urchin replied, "Then, mother, let's eat the remainder of the plum-pudding to-night."
MCCIX.—EARLY BIRDS OF PREY.
A merchant having been attacked by some thieves at five in the afternoon, said: "Gentlemen, you open shop early to-day."