MCCCXXXII.—A CONSIDERATE MAYOR.
A country mayor being newly got into office, that he might be seen to do something in it, would persuade his brethren to have a new pair of gallows built; but one of the aldermen said, that they had an old pair which would serve well enough. "Yea," said the mayor, "the old ones shall be to hang strangers on, and the new pair for us and our heirs for ever."
MCCCXXXIII.—THE SAFE SIDE.
During the riots of 1780, most persons in London, in order to save their houses from being burnt or pulled down, wrote on their doors, "No Popery!" Old Grimaldi, the father of the celebrated "Joey," to avoid all mistakes, wrote on his, "No Religion!"
MCCCXXXIV.—VISIBLY LOSING.
In an election for the borough of Tallagh, Councillor Egan, or "bully Egan," as he was familiarly called, being an unsuccessful candidate, appealed to a Committee of the House of Commons. It was in the heat of a very warm summer, and Egan (who was an immensely stout man) was struggling through the crowd, his handkerchief in one hand, his wig in the other, and his whole countenance raging like the dog-star, when he met Curran. "I'm sorry for you, my dear fellow," said Curran. "Sorry! why so, Jack, why so? I'm perfectly at my ease."—"Alas! Egan, it is but too visible that you're losing tallow (Tallagh) fast!"
MCCCXXXV.—REASON FOR THICK ANKLES.
"Harry, I cannot think," says Dick,
"What makes my ankles grow so thick."
"You do not recollect," says Harry,
"How great a calf they have to carry."
MCCCXXXVI.—ERASMUS VERSUS LUTHER.
Erasmus, of whom Cambridge has a right to be not a little proud, was entreated by Lord Mountjoy to attack the errors of Luther. "My lord," answered Erasmus, "nothing is more easy than to say Luther is mistaken, and nothing more difficult than to prove him so."