MCCCXCI.—A BARBER SHAVED BY A LAWYER.
"Sir," said a barber to an attorney who was passing his door, "will you tell me if this is a good half-sovereign?" The lawyer, pronouncing the piece good, deposited it in his pocket, adding, with gravity, "If you'll send your lad to my office, I'll return the three and four-pence."
MCCCXCII.—A MAN OF METAL.
Edwin James, examining a witness, asked him what his business was. He answered, "A dealer in old iron."—"Then," said the counsel, "you must of course be a thief."—"I don't see," replied the witness, "why a dealer in iron must necessarily be a thief, more than a dealer in brass."
MCCCXCIII.—SPECIMEN OF THE LACONIC.
"Be less prolix," says Grill. I like advice.
"Grill, you're an ass!" Now, surely, that's concise.
MCCCXCIV.—A DROP.
Dean Swift was one day in company, when the conversation fell upon the antiquity of the family. The lady of the house expatiated a little too freely on her descent, observing that her ancestors' names began with De, and, of course, of antique French extraction. When she had finished; "And now," said the Dean, "will you be so kind as to help me to a piece of that D—umpling?"
MCCCXCV.—ERROR IN JUDGMENT.
An author once praised another writer very heartily to a third person. "It is very strange," was the reply, "that you speak so well of him, for he says that you are a charlatan."—"O," replied the other, "I think it very likely that both of us may be mistaken."