MCDXLI.—ALL THE SAME.
In Edinburgh resided a gentleman, who is as huge, though not so witty, as Falstaff. It is his custom when he travels to book two places, and thus secure half the inside to himself. He once sent his servant to book him to Glasgow. The man returned with the following pleasing intelligence: "I've booked you, sir; there weren't two inside places left, so I booked you one in and one out."
MCDXLII.—THE PRINCIPLE OF GOVERNMENTS.
I shall not easily forget the sarcasm of Swift's simile as he told us of the Prince of Orange's harangue to the mob of Portsmouth. "We are come," said he, "for your good—for all your goods."—"A universal principle," added Swift, "of all governments; but, like most other truths, only told by mistake."
MCDXLIII.—DR. WALCOT'S APPLICATION FOR SHIELD'S IVORY OPERA PASS.
Shield, while the supplicating poor
Ask thee for meat with piteous moans;
More humble I approach thy door,
And beg for nothing but thy bones.
MCDXLIV.—COOKING HIS GOOSE.
The performers rallying Cooke one morning, in the green room, on the awkward cut of a new coat, he apologized, by saying, "It was his tailor's fault."—"Yes, poor man," said Munden, "and his misfortune too!"
MCDXLV.—TAKE WARNING!
A barrister who had retired from practice, said: "If any man was to claim the coat upon my back, and threaten my refusal with a lawsuit, he should certainly have it; lest, in defending my coat, I should, too late, find that I was deprived of my waistcoat also."