Admiral Bridport, speaking of the threatened invasion by the French in 1798, dryly observed, "They might come as they could; for his own part, he could only say that they should not come by water."
MCDLXXXI.—DROLL TO ORDER.
One evening, a lady said to a small wit, "Come, Mr. ——, tell us a lively anecdote," and the poor fellow was mute during the remainder of the evening. "Favor me with your company on Wednesday evening, you are such a lion," said a weak party-giver to a young author. "I thank you," replied the wit; "but on that evening I am engaged to eat fire at the Countess of ——, and stand upon my head at Mrs. ——."
MCDLXXXII.—MEN OF WEIGHT.
If fat men ride, they tire the horse,
And if they walk themselves—that's worse:
Travel at all, they are at best,
Either oppressors or opprest.
MCDLXXXIII.—CHEMICAL ODDITY.
While an ignorant lecturer was describing the nature of gas, a blue-stocking lady inquired of a gentleman near her, what was the difference between oxygin and hydrogin? "Very little, madam," said he; "by oxygin we mean pure gin; and by hydrogin, gin and water."
MCDLXXXIV.—AN APISH RESEMBLANCE.
Charles Lamb used to say, that he had a great dislike to monkeys, on the principle that "it was not pleasant to look upon one's poor relations."