MDXXXIV.—JUSTICE MIDAS.
A judge, joking a young barrister, said, "If you and I were turned into a horse and an ass, which would you prefer to be?"—"The ass, to be sure," replied the barrister. "I've heard of an ass being made a judge, but a horse never."
MDXXXV.—A SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCE.
At an hotel at Brighton, Douglas Jerrold was dining with two friends, one of whom, after dinner, ordered "a bottle of old port."—"Waiter," added Jerrold, with a significant twinkle of his eye, "mind now; a bottle of your old port, not your elder port."
MDXXXVI.—LAW AND PHYSIC.
When Dr. H. and Sergeant A. were walking arm-in-arm, a wag said to a friend, "These two are just equal to one highwayman."—"Why?" was the response. "Because it is a lawyer and a doctor—your money or your life."
MDXXXVII.—EUCLID REFUTED.
"A part," says Euclid, "one at once may see,
Unto the whole can never equal be";
Yet W——'s speeches can this fact control,
Of them a part is equal to the whole.
MDXXXVIII.—KEEPING IT TO HIMSELF.
Burke once mentioned to Fox that he had written a tragedy. "Did you let Garrick see it?" inquired his friend: "No," replied Burke; "though I had the folly to write it, I had the wit to keep it to myself."