An acquaintance remarked to Dr. Robert South, the celebrated preacher at the court of Charles the Second, "Ah! doctor, you are such a wit!" The doctor replied, "Don't make game of people's infirmities: you, sir, might have been born a wit!"
MDLXXXVI.—ATTIRED TO TIRE.
Sir Joseph Jekyll wrote the following impromptu, on observing a certain sergeant, well known for his prosiness, bustling into the Court of King's Bench, where he was engaged in a case:—
Behold the sergeant full of fire,
Long shall his hearers rue it;
His purple garments came from Tyre,
His arguments go to it.
MDLXXXVII.—A SMALL JOKE.
Mr. Dale, who it would appear was a short stout man, had a person in his employment named Matthew, who was permitted that familiarity with his master which was so characteristic of the former generation. One winter day, Mr. Dale came into the counting-house, and complained that he had fallen on the ice. Matthew, who saw that his master was not much hurt, grinned a sarcastic smile. "I fell all my length," said Mr. Dale. "Nae great length, sir," said Matthew. "Indeed, Matthew, ye need not laugh," said Mr. Dale, "I have hurt the sma' of my back."—"I wunner whaur that is," said Matthew.
MDLXXXVIII.—A VAIN THREAT.
"Mr. Brown, I owe you a grudge, remember that!"—"I shall not be frightened then, for I never knew you to pay anything that you owe."
MDLXXXIX.—POOR LAW.
"Pray, my lord," asked a fashionable lady of Lord Kenyon, "what do you think my son had better do in order to succeed in the law?"—"Let him spend all his money: marry a rich wife, and spend all hers: and when he has not got a shilling in the world, let him attack the law." Such was the advice of an old Chief Justice.