MDCXXX.—A CELESTIAL VISION.
Quin, being asked by a lady why there were more women in the world than men, replied, "It is in conformity with the other arrangements of Nature, madam; we always see more of heaven than earth."
MDCXXXI.—DESTITUTION OF THE SMITH FAMILY.
One morning a pompous little man called upon Sydney Smith, saying that, being about to compile a history of distinguished families in Somersetshire, he had called to obtain the Smith arms. "I regret, sir," said the reverend wit, "not to be able to contribute to so valuable a work; but the Smiths never had any arms, and have invariably sealed their letters with their thumbs."
MDCXXXII.—UNCIVIL WARNING.
A celebrated professor, dining in company with a gaudy, discordant, and silly chatterer, was asked to help her to the usual concomitant of boiled fowl. As he did so, he abstractedly murmured, "Parsley,—fatal to parrots."
MDCXXXIII.—AN INEVITABLE MISFORTUNE.
When Boswell was first introduced to Dr. Johnson, he apologized to him for being a Scotchman. "I find," said he, "that I am come to London at a bad time, when great popular prejudice has gone forth against us North Britons; but when I am talking to you, I am talking to a large and liberal mind, and you know that I cannot help coming from Scotland."—"Sir," replied the doctor, archly, "no more can the rest of your countrymen."
MDCXXXIV.—DONE FOR.
Two gentlemen were lately examining the breast of a plough on a stall in a market-place. "I'll bet you a crown," said one, "you don't know what it's for."—"Done," said the other. "It is for sale." The bet was paid.