MDCLXXXV.—PROSINESS.
A prosy old gentleman meeting Jerrold, related a long, limp account of a stupid practical joke, concluding with the information that "he really thought he should have died with laughter."—"I wish to heaven you had," was Jerrold's reply.
MDCLXXXVI.—A PLEASANT MESSAGE.
Mr. Bartleman, a celebrated bass-singer, was taken ill, just before the commencement of the musical festival at Gloucester: another basso was applied to, at a short notice, who attended, and acquitted himself to the satisfaction of everybody. When he called on the organist to be paid, the latter thanked him most cordially for the noble manner in which he had sung; and concluded with the following very complimentary and pleasant message: "When you see poor Bartleman, give my best regards to him; and tell him how much we missed him during the festival!"
MDCLXXXVII.—EXISTENCE OF MATTER.
As Berkeley, the celebrated author of the Immaterial Theory, was one morning musing in the cloisters of Dublin College, an acquaintance came up to him, and, seeing him rapt in contemplation, hit him a smart rap on the shoulder with his cane. The dean starting, called out, "What's the matter?" His acquaintance, looking him steadily in the face, replied, "No matter, Berkeley."
MDCLXXXVIII.—A SAUCY ANSWER.
A Barrister attempting to browbeat a female witness, told her she had brass enough to make a saucepan. The woman retorted, "and you have sauce enough to fill it."
MDCLXXXIX.—QUAINT EPITAPH.
Dr. Fuller having requested one of his companions to make an epitaph for him, received the following: