MDCXCIX.—A CONVERSATIONAL EPIGRAM.
Said Bluster to Whimple, "You juvenile fool,
Get out of my way, do you hear?"
Said Whimple, "A fool did you say? by that rule
I'm much in your way as I fear."
MDCC.—A PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENT.
The late Lord Dudley and Ward was one of the most absent of men. Meeting Sydney Smith one day in the street, he invited him to meet himself! "Dine with me to-day,—dine with me to-day,—I will get Sydney Smith to meet you." The witty canon admitted the temptation held out to him, but said, "he was engaged with him elsewhere."
MDCCI.—A ROYAL JEST.
A captain, remarkable for his uncommon height, being one day at the rooms at Bath, the late Princess Amelia was struck with his appearance; and being told that he had been originally intended for the Church, "Rather for the steeple," replied the royal humorist.
MDCCII.—EXTREMELY SULPHUROUS.
Lord Chesterfield, being told that a certain termagant and scold was married to a gamester, replied, "that cards and brimstone made the best matches."
MDCCIII.—A JOKE FROM THE NORTH.
The reigning bore at one time in Edinburgh was Professor L——; his favorite subject the North Pole. One day the arch tormentor met Jeffrey in a narrow lane, and began instantly on the North Pole. Jeffrey, in despair, and out of all patience, darted past him, exclaiming, "Hang the North Pole!" Sydney Smith met Mr. L—— shortly after, boiling over with indignation at Jeffrey's contempt of the North Pole. "O, my dear fellow," said Sydney, "never mind; no one minds what Jeffrey says, you know; he is a privileged person,—he respects nothing, absolutely nothing. Why, you will scarcely credit it, but it is not more than a week ago that I heard him speak disrespectfully of the Equator."