A gentleman of Maudlin, whose name was Nott, returning late from his friend's rooms, attracted the attention of the proctor, who demanded his name and college. "I am Nott of Maudlin," was the reply, hiccupping. "Sir," said the proctor, in an angry tone, "I did not ask of what college you are not, but of what college you are."—"I am Nott of Maudlin," was again the broken reply. The proctor, enraged at what he considered contumely, insisted on accompanying him to Maudlin, and demanded of the porter, "whether he knew the gentleman."—"Know him, sir," said the porter, "yes, it is Mr. Nott of this college." The proctor now perceived his error in not understanding the gentleman, and wished him a good night.
CLXI.—A COCKNEY EPIGRAM.
In Parliament, it's plain enough,
No reverence for age appears;
For they who hear each speaker's stuff,
Find there is no respect for (y) ears.
CLXII.—THE PINK OF POLITENESS.
Lord Berkeley was once dining with Lord Chesterfield (the pink of politeness) and a large party, when it was usual to drink wine until they were mellow. Berkeley had by accident shot one of his gamekeepers, and Chesterfield, under the warmth of wine, said, "Pray, my Lord Berkeley, how long is it since you shot a gamekeeper?"—"Not since you hanged your tutor, my lord!" was the reply. You know that Lord Chesterfield brought Dr. Dodd to trial, in consequence of which he was hanged.
CLXIII.—HIGH AND LOW.
"I expect six clergymen to dine with me on such a day," said a gentleman to his butler. "Very good, sir," said the butler. "Are they High Church or Low Church, sir?"—"What on earth can that signify to you?" asked the astonished master. "Every thing, sir," was the reply. "If they are High Church, they'll drink; if they are Low Church, they'll eat!"
CLXIV.—CITY LOVE.
In making love let poor men sigh,
But love that's ready-made is better
For men of business;—so I,
If madam will be cruel, let her.
But should she wish that I should wait
And miss the 'Change,—oh no, I thank her,
I court by deed, or after date,
Through my solicitor or banker.