It has been said that a lady once asked Lord B—g—m who was the best debater in the House of Lords. His lordship modestly replied, "Lord Stanley is the second, madam."
CCVI.—A JOINT CONCERN.
A stupid fellow employed in blowing a cathedral organ, said after the performance of a fine anthem, "I think we performed very well to-day."—"We performed!" answered the organist; "I think it was I performed, or I am much mistaken." Shortly after another celebrated piece of music was to be played. In the middle of the anthem the organ stopped; the organist cried out in a passion, "Why don't you blow?" The fellow popped out his head from behind the organ, and said, "Shall it be we then?"
CCVII.—PROFESSIONAL.
An editor at a dinner-table being asked if he would take some pudding, replied, in a fit of abstraction, "Owing to a crowd of other matter, we are unable to find room for it."
CCVIII.—A GOOD REASON.
A rich peer resolved to make his will; and having remembered all his domestics except his steward, the omission was respectfully pointed out to him by the lawyer. "I shall leave him nothing," said the nobleman, "because he has served me these twenty years."
CCIX.—ON A BAD MAN.
By imbecility and fears
Will is restrain'd from doing ill;
His mind a porcupine appears,
A porcupine without a quill.