When Mr. Sheridan pleaded in court his own cause, and that of the Drury Lane Theatre, an Irish laborer, known amongst the actors by the name of Billy Brown, was called upon to give his evidence. Previous to his going into court, the counsellor, shocked at the shabby dress of the witness, began to remonstrate with him on this point: "You should have put on your Sunday clothes, and not think of coming into court covered with lime and brick-dust; it detracts from the credit of your evidence."—"Be cool, Mr. Counsellor," said Billy, "only be cool, you're in your working-dress, and I am in mine; and that's that."
CCXXV.—THE RULING PASSION AFTER DEATH.
A drunken witness leaving the box, blurted out, "My Lord, I never cared for anything but women and horseflesh!" Mr. Justice Maule: "Oh, you never cared for anything but women and horseflesh? Then I advise you to go home and make your will, or, if you have made it, put a codicil to it, and direct your executors, as soon as you are dead, to have you flayed, and to have your skin made into side-saddles, and then, whatever happens, you will have the satisfaction of reflecting that, after death, some part of you will be constantly in contact with what, in life, were the dearest objects of your affections."
CCXXVI.—CUT AND COME AGAIN.
A gentleman who was on a tour, attended by an Irish servant-man, who drove the vehicle, was several times puzzled with the appearance of a charge in the man's daily account, entered as "Refreshment for the horse, 2d." At length he asked Dennis about it. "Och! sure," said he, "it's whipcord it is!"
CCXXVII.—CALIBAN'S LOOKING-GLASS.
A remarkably ugly and disagreeable man sat opposite Jerrold at a dinner-party. Before the cloth was removed, Jerrold accidentally broke a glass. Whereupon the ugly gentleman, thinking to twit his opposite neighbor with great effect, said slily, "What, already, Jerrold! Now I never break a glass."—"I wonder at that," was Jerrold's instant reply, "you ought whenever you look in one."
CCXXVIII.—UNION IS STRENGTH.
A kind-hearted, but somewhat weak-headed, parishioner in the far north got into the pulpit of the parish church one Sunday before the minister, who happened on that day to be rather behind time. "Come down, Jamie," said the minister, "that's my place."—"Come ye up, sir," replied Jamie; "they are a stiff-necked and rebellious generation the people o' this place, and it will take us baith to manage them."