CCLXXXVII.—A PHENOMENON ACCOUNTED FOR.
Dr. Byron, of Manchester, eminent for his promptitude at an epigram, being once asked how it could happen that a lady rather stricken in years looked so much better in an evening than a morning, thus replied:—
"Ancient Phyllis has young graces,
'Tis a strange thing, but a true one.
Shall I tell you how?
She herself makes her own faces,
And each morning wears a new one!
Where's the wonder now?"
CCLXXXVIII.—BRIGHT AND SHARP.
A little boy having been much praised for his quickness of reply, a gentleman present observed, that when children were keen in their youth, they were generally stupid and dull when they were advanced in years, and vice versâ. "What a very sensible boy, sir, must you have been!" returned the child.
CCLXXXIX.—A WOODMAN.
A young man, boasting of his health and constitutional stamina, was asked to what he chiefly attributed so great a happiness. "To laying in a good foundation, to be sure. I make a point, sir, to eat a great deal every morning."—"Then I presume, sir, you usually breakfast in a timber-yard," was the rejoinder.
CCXC.—HUMAN HAPPINESS.
A captain in the navy, meeting a friend as he landed at Portsmouth, boasted that he had left his whole ship's company the happiest fellows in the world. "How so?" asked his friend. "Why, I have just flogged seventeen, and they are happy it is over; and all the rest are happy that they have escaped."