CCCXVI.—KNOWING HIS PLACE.
At a grand review by George III. of the Portsmouth fleet in 1789, there was a boy who mounted the shrouds with so much agility as to surprise every spectator. The king particularly noticed it, and said to Lord Lothian, "Lothian, I have heard much of your agility; let us see you run up after that boy."—"Sire," replied Lord Lothian, "it is my duty to follow your Majesty."
CCCXVII.—AN ATTIC JEST.
Sheridan inquiring of his son what side of politics he should espouse on his inauguration to St. Stephen's, the son replied, that he intended to vote for those who offered best, and that he should wear on his forehead a label, "To let."—"I suppose, Tom, you mean to add, unfurnished," rejoined the father.
CCCXVIII.—CUTTING ON BOTH SIDES.
Lord B——, who sported a ferocious pair of whiskers, meeting Mr. O'Connell in Dublin, the latter said, "When do you mean to place your whiskers on the peace establishment?"—"When you place your tongue on the civil list!" was the rejoinder.
CCCXIX.—A READY RECKONER.
A mathematician being asked by a wag, "If a pig weighs 200 pounds, how much will a great boar (bore?) weigh?" he replied, "Jump into the scales, and I will tell you immediately."
CCCXX.—CATCHING HIM UP.
An Irishman being asked which was oldest, he or his brother, "I am eldest," said he, "but if my brother lives three years longer, we shall be both of an age."