(On interminable harangues.)
Ye fates that hold the vital shears,
If ye be troubled with remorse,
And will not cut ——'s thread of life,
Cut then the thread of his discourse.
CCCXLIX.—HALF-WAY.
A horseman crossing a moor, asked a countryman, if it was safe riding. "Ay," answered the countryman, "it is hard enough at the bottom, I'll warrant you;" but in half-a-dozen steps the horse sunk up to the girths. "You story-telling rascal, you said it was hard at the bottom!"—"Ay," replied the other, "but you are not half-way to the bottom yet."
CCCL.—SELF-KNOWLEDGE.
"——," said one of his eulogists, "always knows his own mind." We will cede the point, for it amounts to an admission that he knows nothing.
CCCLI.—TWO OF A TRADE.
When Bannister was asked his opinion of a new singer that had appeared at Covent Garden, "Why," said Charles, "he may be Robin Hood this season, but he will be robbing Harris (the manager) the next."
CCCLII.—A STRAY SHOT.
An officer, in battle, happening to bow, a cannon-ball passed over his head, and took off that of the soldier who stood behind him. "You see," said he, "that a man never loses by politeness."