Simple rules for saving money: To save half, when you are fired by an eager impulse to contribute to a charity, wait, and count forty. To save three-quarters, count sixty. To save it all, count sixty-five.
Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
He had had much experience of physicians, and said “the only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not.”
The man who is ostentatious of his modesty is twin to the statue that wears a fig-leaf.
Let me make the superstitions of a nation and I care not who makes its laws or its songs either.
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment; but when relief begins the unexpired remainder is worth $4.00 a minute.
True irreverence is disrespect to another man’s god.
There are two times in a man’s life when he should not speculate: when he can’t afford it, and when he can.
She was not quite what you would call refined. She was not quite what you would call unrefined. She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.