Floyd slapped him on the back. “You’re a hero, Tom. It was a great temptation.” Tom beamed.
“They’ve taken it into their pretty heads to star the chauffeur. We’re the cowboys of the East. We drive and slash about, and lasso them in. Say, I’m afraid I’m going to lose my man—handsome lad, good family. There’s a little snipe baiting for him, and she’ll hook him too.”
At the garage he found a note.
Married this morning to Ida, family approve.
Tom’s sorrow was pathetic. “They’re rich brokers. They’ll put him on the street. He’ll never be able to earn an honest penny again. Where shall I find another like him? The girls fell for him every time. He was a handsome fish. You’ve got nothing to do; help me out just for today. You can run a car. It doesn’t need so much experience, and I can’t afford to let her stand idle.”
“I haven’t got the experience, Tom, but I can hand you the good looks,” said Floyd, modestly.
Tom was jubilant; he’d have to keep his mind on the wheel—and a few knocks would shake him up.
“Now I’ll give you the fruits of my experience. Before you turn a corner, blow the horn, then stop and listen. Don’t try to pass anything; let the other fellow smash you up—then you’ll get damages. The wise guy says, ‘we’ve got a third eye in the back of our heads.’ Exercise yours; it’ll work after a while. When an old woman or a cat gets in front, don’t run her down, jump off and put her on the sidewalk. Train your ears to hear the pistol in a man’s pocket. Keep your foot on the brake and a curb on your temper; a timely joke can make it a dollar more. You’ll get into tough places, so does a doctor. Your fare is your patient; save his life if you can. When it comes to a toss up, you know who gets the preference. Never argue with a crook; take whatever he gives. If it’s nothing, say thank you and get away. Don’t let pretty feet lead you astray. A man’s strength depends on his disposition, and the time of night. If you fall for it, forget it. Do what you can’t help, but—whatever you do, don’t get found out. It’s all contradiction; you do something now and you don’t do it the next time. If the same thing happens twice, it’s never the same thing. You’ve got to be not only a good chauffeur but a good actor, a good talker, a good curser, a good fighter, a good navigator, a good all-around regular feller, and then you don’t half fill the bill. Now scoot.”
“Yes sir,” said Floyd, and plunged into the depths of the night city.
His first venture in the taxi business was a personal success.