| [CHAPTER I.] | |
| Preliminary—Sonnet—Public Life, not Private—Benjamin Franklin—Samplesfrom Books—Self-judgment | 1-6 |
| [CHAPTER II.] | |
| Infancy and Schooldays—Parentage—Germany and Guernsey,America and Canada—Winsor's Patent Gaslights—King GeorgeIII.'s Blessing—My Father's Dream—Second Sight—Heredity—FirstSchool at Brentford—Next at Brook Green—ThirdCharterhouse—Dr. Russell—Parson Schoolmasters—Coins andHoops—Andrew Irvine—Cockshies—Harpies at the Feast—Dr.Stocker—Holt's—M'Neile—Harold Browne | 7-25 |
| [CHAPTER III.] | |
| Young Authorship in Verse and Prose—Melite—Rough Rhymes—Carthage—UmbrellaSapphics—Height of Honesty—HolkarHall—Melrose Abbey—Heidelberg—Pterodactyles—The Buckstone—ScotchJournal—Vitrified Forts—Ireland—KingstonCaverns—Cornish Letter and Sketches—Penzance—The Logan—Land'sEnd—St. Michael's Mount—Rapid Travel | 26-51 |
| [CHAPTER IV.] | |
| College Days—Voice from the Cloister—Gladstone—Aristotle Class—Giantsin those Days—Studentship—A Reading-Man—CollegeLarks—D.C.L.—Dr. Bliss | 52-61 |
| [CHAPTER V.] | |
| Failure as to Orders—Stammering—Blewbury Vicarage—Lincoln'sInn—Lewin's Critique—Brodie's Cacography—Inkpen's Entomology—Dukeof Wellington—Walters'—Letter as to India—Barristerand Benedict—A Hoax—Theodore Hook—Old LadyCork | 62-71 |
| [CHAPTER VI.] | |
| Stammering—Man's Privilege of Speech—Chess Playing—Anecdotes—Angling—FishingSonnets | 72-78 |
| [CHAPTER VII.] | |
| Oxford Prize Poems—Verses in the Schools—Parodies—Rhyme andRhythm—Scriptural Science—Classic Parallels | 79-85 |
| [CHAPTER VIII.] | |
| Sundry Providences—The Small Semisuicide—A Concussion—HorseAccidents—Perils by Land and Sea—Lydstep Cavern | 86-89 |
| [CHAPTER IX.] | |
| Yet more Escapes—White Cross Guild—Evils andTemptations—Potipheras—Heresies—Creeds | 90-94 |
| [CHAPTER X.] | |
| Fads and Fancies—Vegetarian—Teetotalism—The Anglo-Saxon—OperaColonnade—Moderation—America Revisited—Poemon Temperance and Total Abstinence—Gough—Dr. Hodgkin—AMartyr—Clerical Letter on Pharisaism | 95-104 |
| [CHAPTER XI.] | |
| Sacra Poesis—Geraldine—Critiques—John and Tom Hughes—DonningtonPriory—Little Providences | 105-110 |
| [CHAPTER XII.] | |
| Origin of "Proverbial Philosophy"—M'Neile and Stebbing—N. P.Willis—Harrison Ainsworth—Hatchard's—Moxon's—Cassell's—AProphecy—My Father's Letter and Gift—Sixty Times—Politeuphuia—Parallels—Mr.Orton's Volume—American Laudations,and English—As to per contra—Copyright Question—WeddingGifts—An Elizabethan Author—Seldom Seen, andFew Adventures | 111-133 |
| [CHAPTER XIII.] | |
| A Modern Pyramid—The Vision—A Fearful Flight—Imagination—TheCrystal Cubes and Mud Bricks—Sonnets and Sonneteering—Mackayand Shakespeare's | 134-144 |
| [CHAPTER XIV.] | |
| An Author's Mind—Prefatory Ramble—Addled Eggs—The MentalCathedral—Probabilities—Job's Trials | 145-152 |
| [CHAPTER XV.] | |
| The Crock of Gold—Dramatised in Boston and London—Origin ofthe Story—The Twins—Heart: drawn from Living Models—Critiquesfrom Ollier and St. John | 153-158 |
| [CHAPTER XVI.] | |
| Æsop Smith—Mudie's—Rabelaisian Hints—The Early Gallop—Alfred,or Albert Order—Fables | 159-162 |
| [CHAPTER XVII.] | |
| Stephan Langton—King Alfred's Poems—The Silent Pool—HardReading for the History—The Book still in Print—CuriousMetrical Translation of Anglo-Saxon Poetry—The Jubilee atWantage and at Liverpool | 163-169 |
| [CHAPTER XVIII.] | |
| Shakespeare Commemoration—Lord Carlisle—Lord Houghton,Leigh Court—Stratford Church—The Baptismal Font—AnAmerican Autograph Hunter—Sonnet | 170-172 |
| [CHAPTER XIX.] | |
| Translations and Pamphlets—Homer, lib. A.—Tennyson's Vivien—ClassicalVersions—Hymn for All Nations—ProtestantBallads—Fifteen Pamphlets | 173-179 |
| [CHAPTER XX.] | |
| Paterfamilias's Diary—Courier Pierre—Devil's Bridge—Major Hely—Guernsey—TheHaro that saved Castle Cornet—Night-Sailin the Race of Alderney—Durham's Statue of Prince Albert—Isleof Man—King Orry—Walter Montgomery—BishopPowys | 180-189 |
| [CHAPTER XXI.] | |
| Never Give Up, at Dr. Kirkland's—Harvest Hymns—GordonBallads—The Good Earl—John Brown—My Brother—Memory—Evilnot Endless | 190-199 |
| [CHAPTER XXII.] | |
| Protestant Ballads—"So help me, God!"—Nun's Appeal, &c. | 200-203 |
| [CHAPTER XXIII.] | |
| Plays—Alfred—Raleigh—Washington—Twelve Scenes—FamilyRecords | 204-207 |
| [CHAPTER XXIV.] | |
| Antiquariana—Lockhart and my Coin Article in the Quarterly—FarleyFinds—Mummy Wheat and Faraday | 208-212 |
| [CHAPTER XXV.] | |
| Honours—Times' Letter—A Peerage and Baronetcy—PrussianMedal and Chevalier Bunsen's Letter—Authorship a Rank byItself—Many Inventions and Literary Discoveries, as Punch,Humpty Dumpty, 666, &c. | 213-220 |
| [CHAPTER XXVI.] | |
| Courtly: Prophetic Sonnet on our Empress—Many Royal Poems—ModernCourt Suit v. Queen Anne's—A Greeting to PrinceAlbert Victor | 221-228 |
| [CHAPTER XXVII.] | |
| F.R.S.—Lord Melbourne's Carelessness—Spectrum Analysis—Spiritualism—Vivisection—PaintedWindows—ParabolicTeaching | 229-233 |
| [CHAPTER XXVIII.] | |
| Personation—Bignor—The Greyhound—Alibis—A Rescue on Snowdon—FraudulentCollections—Forged Authorials—Boston Unitarianism—PicturesFalsely Signed | 234-237 |
| [CHAPTER XXIX.] | |
| Hospitalities—Farnham Castle—Orchids and Pines—Bishop Sumner—Garibaldiat Gladstone's—Parham and Curzon—Ghosts—PurpleParchments—Uncut Elzevirs—Shenstone's Leasowes—"LittleTesty"—Sonnet—Isle of Wight—Sojourns—City Feasts—OstentatiousHospitality | 238-244 |
| [CHAPTER XXX.] | |
| Social and Rural—No Scandals—Hawthorne's Visit—AlexanderSmith's—Jerdan's Haycock—Otto Goldschmidt and Macdougall—DarkVisitors—Liberian Gold Medal—Noviomagians—LuckyAngling—Albury Waltz—Rustic Stupidity—Redmen—TheDrinking Fountain—Our House a Hive of Bees—Foxhuntin Drawing-room—The Donkey Burglar—AnthonyDevis—Irvingism | 245-256 |
| [CHAPTER XXXI.] | |
| American Ballads: "Ho, Brother! I'm a Britisher"—TheQuasi-Inspiration—"Thirty Noble Nations," and Thirty-three—ManyOthers—Ground-baiting the Transatlantic | 257-259 |
| [CHAPTER XXXII.] | |
| First American Visit—Too Temperate for 1851; not Temperateenough for 1876—Grand Dinner at Baltimore, and Great Speech—TheAstor Dinner—"Amice Davis"—Mayor Kingsland andthe Mile-long Procession—Willis, at Golden Square—The FillmoreDinner at the White House—Jenny Lind's Concert—GordonBennet—Squier—Barnum | 260-270 |
| [CHAPTER XXXIII.] | |
| Second American Visit—Extreme Gold—Talmage—Bryant—Cooper—"Immortality"at the Tabernacle—Lotus Club—Lord Rosebery—Dr.Levis—Mr. Pettit's Portrait—The Listers atHamilton—Toronto—Sir Charles Tupper—Elgin—Dufferin—Mackayand Sleighing—Dawson and Eozoa—Vaughan-Tuppers—TheGrand John Hopkins' Banquet—Charleston Tuppers—MyPalinode to the South—Visit to Williams Middleton—PartingStanzas—Ruined Mansion—Valete | 271-280 |
| [CHAPTER XXXIV.] | |
| English and Scotch Readings, very rapid, from Isle of Wight toPeterhead—My Entrepreneur D.: his Experiences: I Failedwith Him, but Succeeded Alone—Specimen of Readings—LocalCritiques—Many Friends Unrecorded—Miscellaneous Poems—Mr.Gall's Primeval Man—Arbroath—Mill the Atheist—Mr.Boyd's Piety—Hamilton Mausoleum—Wild Cattle—Burns'sCountry—James Baird the Millionaire and the Hodman | 281-288 |
| [CHAPTER XXXV.] | |
| Electrics—Sir Culling Eardley at Erith—Atlantic Telegraph—TheFirst Message—Meddlesome Revisers—Antique Telegraphy—Addisonand Strada—Professor Morse—A Telegram-Sonnet | 289-295 |
| [CHAPTER XXXVI.] | |
| The Rifle, a Patriotic Prophecy in 1845—Early Pamphlet—Defencenot Defiance—Albury Club—Blackheath Review—LordLovelace—Alarums—Drummond's Scare—A Lucky Shot | 296-303 |
| [CHAPTER XXXVII.] | |
| Autographs and Advertisements—Worth Eighteenpence each—AHundred at Once—Photographs—Oil Paintings—Locks of Hair—Interviewers—Puffsand Anti-puffs | 304-311 |
| [CHAPTER XXXVIII.] | |
| Kindness to Animals—Louis Napoleon and Alfort—Vivisection—PontrilasCourt—The Omnibus Hack—Divers Ballads | 312-315 |
| [CHAPTER XXXIX.] | |
| Orkney and Shetland—Our Voyage—Wick Herring Fair—Balfourat Shapinshay—Kirkwall—Aytoun—Gulf Stream—Snuff-Boxesand Corals—Fair Isle Hosiery—Stennis—Scalloway—LerwickLiterature—Artificial Flora—Thurso Castle—Robert Dick—CapeWrath—Stornoway—Callanish—Pipers—The brooch ofLorne, &c. | 316-321 |
| [CHAPTER XL.] | |
| Literary Friends—Mrs. Somerville, Miss Granville, Mrs. Jameson,Mrs. Beecher Stowe, Ouida, Miss Braddon, Mrs. Carter Hall,Mrs. Grote, Lady Wilde, Miss Mackay, Rogers, Carlyle,Haweis, Tennyson, Browning, Mortimer Collins, Dickens andSon, Owen, Austen, Pengelley, Bowerbank, S. Mackenzie, M.Arnold, S. Brooks, Albert Smith, Mark Lemon, Tenniel,Cooper, P. B. Cole, E. Yates, Frank Smedley, J. G. Wood,Cuthbert Collingwood, Mr. and Mrs. Zerffi, Birch, Miss Hooper,Miss Barlee, G. MacDonald, Ronald Gower, Fred. Burnaby,Charles Marvin—A Diner-Out—A Mormon Guest—Apostles—Frank'sRanche—Twelve Anecdotes—Thackeray and Leech,Longfellow, C. Kingsley, Ainsworth, Lord Elgin | 322-350 |
| [CHAPTER XLI.] | |
| Some Older Friendships—Nightingale, and Farley Heath—WalterHawkins—His Tomb—Anchor—Anagrams—Christmas Largesse—ShamAntiques—Joseph Durham—Alice's Statue—"SirJoe" and the Noviomagians—Prince Albert at St. Peter's Port—BaronessBarnekow—Swedish Proverbial—King Oscar'sPoems—Geo. Metivier—French Proverbial—John Sullivan—CanonJenkins—Barnes, De Chatelain, De Pontigny—Correspondents,&c. | 351-362 |
| [CHAPTER XLII.] | |
| Political—A Dark Horse—No Party-Man—Gladstone—AmbidextrousStanzas—Liberal and Tory—The One-Vote System—FancyFranchises—The Voter's Motto—Fair Trade v. FreeTrade—Radically Conservative—Strikes, &c. | 363-372 |
| [CHAPTER XLIII.] | |
| A Cure for Ireland—Racial Difficulties—The Unsunned Corner—ÆsopSmith's Prescription—An Irish Balmoral in 1858—MyAnti Celtic Ballads—Adventures | 373-379 |
| [CHAPTER XLIV.] | |
| Some Spiritist Experiences—Not a Spiritualist, but an Honest Recorderof Facts—Alexis—Howell—Vernon's Mesmerised Child—Mrs.Cora Tappan—Chauncey Townsend's Book—Spirit-Drawings—Planchette—Showersof Flowers, and Sugar-Plums, andPearls—Mr. Home—Prayer before Séance—The Table in theAir—Live Coals in My Hand—The Vitalised Accordion—TheColonel's Ghost—Iamblicus—Query Electrical Influence—OurMysterious Key—Miss Hudson—Thought-Reading | 380-399 |
| [CHAPTER XLV.] | |
| Fickle Fortune—Losses and Failures—Testimonial—"L'espoir estma force"—My Levée in 1851—The Missed Codicil—Life andDeath | 400-403 |
| [CHAPTER XLVI.] | |
| Henry De Beauvoir, killed in Africa—Archdeacon Kitton—Our OldChancery Suit: A Lost Fortune—Belgravian Five Fields,another Missed Chance—Earl Grosvenor | 404-407 |
| [CHAPTER XLVII.] | |
| Flying: my Lecture at the Royal Aquarium with Fred. Burnaby asChairman—Henry Middleton's Invention—De Lisle Hay's"Conquest of the Air"—Ezekiel's Angels—Ovid, and Tennyson—ClaudeHamilton—Extracts | 408-412 |
| [CHAPTER XLVIII.] | |
| Luther—The Peroration as to his Life and Exploits—AnniversaryStanzas, in many Languages—Bullinger's Music—WycliffeBallad—Wondrous Parallel | 413-416 |
| [CHAPTER XLIX.] | |
| Final—Whatever is, is Right—Sick-bed Repentance—Intuitions—WhatWe Shall Be—Protest Against Atheism—The Infinities—AChildlike Hymn—Eternal Hope—Mercy for Ever—TheAssurance of Ovid | 417-431 |
MY LIFE AS AN AUTHOR.
CHAPTER I.
PRELIMINARY.
I have often been asked to prepare an autobiography, but my objections to the task have ever been many and various. To one urgent appeal I sent this sonnet of refusal, which explains itself:—
"You bid me write the story of my life,
And draw what secrets in my memory dwell
From the dried fountains of her failing well,
With commonplaces mixt of peace and strife,
And such small facts, with good or evil rife,
As happen to us all: I have no tale
Of thrilling force or enterprise to tell,—
Nothing the blood to fire, the cheek to pale:
My life is in my books: the record there,
A truthful photograph, is all I choose
To give the world of self; nor will excuse
Mine own or others' failures: glad to spare
From blame of mine, or praise, both friends and foes,
Leaving unwritten what God only knows."
In fact I always rejected the proposal (warned by recent volumes of pestilential reminiscences) and would none of it; not only from its apparent vainglory as to the inevitable extenuation of one's own faults and failures in life, and the equally certain amplification of self-registered virtues and successes,—but even still more from the mischief it might occasion from a petty record of commonplace troubles and trials, due to the "changes and chances of this mortal life," to the casual mention or omission of friends or foes, to the influence of circumstances and surroundings, and to other revelations—whether pleasant or the reverse—of matters merely personal, and therefore more of a private than a public character.