Little Wolf: A Tale of the Western Frontier

by Mary Ann Mann Cornelius

I know that a passel of big lawyers and judges say that we can't make a effectual door cause there ain't no timber in the constitution fur tu make it of and so some is fur putting up a rickety kind of a barricade fur tu keep folks on Sundays and lection days, and some is fur hevin a gate that them air sarpents inside will hev fur tu pay a big pile of money fur tu get the privilege of openin. But I don't see why on airth, if they ken git timber fur them air half way consarns, they can't git it fur a hull door. If they can't, they hed better graft, some law agin liquor sellin branches inter that air constitutional tree, and hev them air infarnel roads to the infarnel regions blocked up entirely.

Howsoever, while its open a single crack we must du the best we ken fur tu keep the people out of the wrong track. Them air temperance societies, and temperance pledges is mighty good, but there ain't enough of 'em and they ain't active enough. Now, a nice, smart, rosy-cheeked gal instead of passin round wine tu her little party of friends, might pass a temperance pledge, and coax them air beaux of hern inter puttin their names tu it, and give 'em a nice cup of coffee fur tu top off with. There might be lots of them air kind of things did, if folks only set themselves to work in earnest. Instead of telling yer friends that it won't hurt'em, as I've heerd of some infatuated pussons doin, tell 'em total abstinence won't hurt 'em, and I'll ventur fur tu say they'll thank ye fur it, instead of cussin of ye tu all eternity fur puttin the glass to their lips. That air reminds me of another scriptur that that air little gal pinted out to me, 'Woe tu him that putteth the glass to his neighbor's lips.' That air is all the scriptur I ken quote correct 'tween Genesis and Revelation. I larned it fur tu throw in the face of one of them black coats, that hes invited me fur tu tend his church. Sez I tu him, 'If ye'll preach from that air text I'll go.' Sez he, 'I preach the gospel. I can't be givin my valooble time to politics and temperance lecturs, but I'll read that air chapter to my congregation if ye'll come.' Sez I, 'no-siree! I don't believe in no half way business.' Ye see I had an inkling that he was afeered of that air rich hullsale liquor dealer that tended his church. Them that retail the stuff is generally looked down upon, but them air that is rich enough to shovel it out by the hullsale is looked up tu on the principle, turn yer back tu a poor devil, take off yer hat to a rich devil.

I never could think of anythin bad enough fur tu say about the mischief them air liquor dealers du, and rather guess on that account I'll hev fur tu leave 'em to the cuss which God Almighty hisself has passed upon 'em. I hev no doubt but that air cuss has been echoed and rechoed by millions upon millions of their victims. I would hate to have all the cusses of the widows and orphans, and the wus than widows and orphans that them air ginerations of vipers hev made, and bit.

But there is another pint which consarns every one of us. Hev we a right to stand by silent and see these things did?

That air is a big question that some folks would like fur to dodge, cause maybe if they took a active part agin drunkard makin, it might interfere with their dollars, or with their friends or with their interests in other ways. But ye can't dodge the question; its afore ye, and there it shall stand until Gabriel blows his big horn, and you'll hev fur tu answer it, tu the Almighty, hisself.

Don't the Bible say that every tub shall stand on its own bottom? I've heerd it did, and I'm a thinkin that all of them air useless tubs that stand out a sunning theirselves, will fall down and not hev any bottom fur tu stand on when they are fur, and will only be fit fur firewood. Fur my part I don't blame God Almighty fur pitchin folks inter the infarnel regions when they won't du nothin fur tu keep things right in this ere world, and some actually hender others from doing anything.

Now, supposen there was a big hole in the end of our street and a passel of citizens should du all they could to keep that air hole open fur people to fall inter, and you'd hear 'em hollerin out tu folks that was a tryin to stop it up; 'Let that air hole alone, everybody knows its there, if they don't want fur tu git inter it let em go another way; there is plenty of streets;' wouldn't yer think them air rascals ought to be singed to all etarnity? Well, what's the mighty difference 'tween them air, and a passel of citizens that'll set by and see their feller citizens go straight inter that air hole and say nothin? I believe in men's minding their own business, and I hold its a man's business to save a drownding feller critter if he ken.

I hev now come to my last pint. It is this. Shall we hev laws that will save our nation from becoming a nation of drunkards, or shall we not? Just picture to yourself a drunken president. We hev hed him. Then picture a passel of drunken senators. We hev hed them, tu. Seems zif the more big men ken circulate the devil's pisen, the better they like it, and that air in my opinion is one reason why we can't get laws tu shet down the making and selling of the infarnel stuff. Why, keep that air kind of men in office, and figuratively speakin, the fust we know, a pair of the president's breeches will be stuffed inter a broken winder of that air White House. Fur if we keep a sendin men tu Washington, that is friendly tu that air sarpent with many heads, it will git so big that it will sartin bust every thing to flinters. It's leetle young ones are a crawlin everywhere now. They lay coiled on the hearth of the rich man and the poor man, and woe to the infatuated pussen who gits inter their slimy folds. O, what wretched slaves they do make of their victims. What tears, what anguish, what poverty, what degradation du they bring them tu!

Shall we, the free born sons of America, consent fur tu be made slaves, and lay among the pots? Shall we walk in rags and stagger in fetters with the blood of the innercent on our hands? I say, shall this big proud nation be made fur tu totter and tu reel like a helpless baby a learnin fur tu walk? Shall that air many headed sarpent rule us, or shall we rule it?

Haul out yer temperance pledges! Float the banner of total abstinence! Wave high the flag of freedom; and fight long and fight well fur freedom; from the intoxicatin cup!"