Why is it dangerous to walk in the meadows in springtime?—Because the trees are shooting and the bulrush is out (bull rushes out).
Why is a vine like a soldier?—Because it is listed and has ten drills (ten-drils) and shoots.
Why is an opera-singer like a confectioner?—Because she deals in ice-creams (high screams).
If a man who is carrying a dozen glass lamps drops one, what does he become?—A lamp lighter.
What belongs to yourself, but is used more by your friends than by yourself?—Your name.
Why is a spider a good correspondent?—Because he drops a line at every post.
When is the clock on the stairs dangerous?—When it runs down.
Why is the letter "k" like a pig's tail?—Because it comes at the end of pork.
What is the keynote to good manners?—B natural.
Why is a five-pound bank-note much more profitable than five sovereigns?—Because when you put it in your pocket you double it, and when you take it out you will find it in-creases.