Why is it dangerous to sleep in a train?—Because every train runs over all the sleepers on the line.
Spell "enemy" in three letters?—F O E.
Which is the only way that a leopard can change his spots?—By going from one spot to another.
Why did Eve never fear the measles?—Because she'd Adam.
When is a tall man a little short?—When he hasn't got quite enough cash.
What houses are the easiest to break into?—The houses of bald people; because their locks are few.
Why is a watch the most difficult thing to steal?—Because it must be taken off its guard.
Why is there never anybody at home in a convent?—Because it is an (n)uninhabited place.
Why does a person who is not good-looking make a better carpenter than one who is?—Because he is a deal plainer.
What is the best tree for preserving order?—The birch.