Why is a five-pound bank-note much more profitable than five sovereigns?—Because when you put it in your pocket you double it, and when you take it out you will find it increases.
Why is a watch like a river?—Because it doesn't run long without winding.
What is that which flies high, flies low, has no feet, and yet wears shoes?—Dust.
When has a man four hands?—When he doubles his fists.
What trees has fire no effect upon?—Ashtrees; because when they are burned, they are ashes still.
What is the difference between a schoolmaster and an engine-driver?—
One minds the train and the other trains the mind.
A man had twenty sick (six) sheep, and one died; how many were left?— 19.
What is that which everybody has seen but will never see again?—
Yesterday.
Which is the best day for making a pancake?—Friday.
Which is the smallest bridge in the world?—The bridge of your nose.