She looked up at that, her eyes still full of tears.
"John, I did it of my own free will. The man has suffered too; it's cruel to him, I can't disgrace and ruin him now. I can't betray Eva, I can't simply think of my own happiness; I'm not like that! I did it myself. I thought you didn't care; I was angry, blind, and, yes, I did want to save my sister, but I've often thought that perhaps I wouldn't have done it but for my anger. I deserve to be punished, and I've got to bear it somehow. What would be the use of it all if, at the first temptation, I gave in and told the world the whole miserable story? When mother was dying she made me promise to be good to Eva; she said she might need all that I could give, she knew her! I can't disgrace her. She's heart-broken about it all, she's sorry; I think I can bring her back to her husband. It's worth trying, John. I've always believed in you, I've always trusted you; help me to be true to myself, help me—because you love me!"
"I can't give you up."
She turned away from him, struggling hard for more composure. "Give me a little time, John. I—I can't bear any more now!"
"You mean you want me to go now? I'll do your bidding, Rachel, but I'll never give you up; I can't."
"Oh, I know—I know, but go—please, John, I can't answer now—I can't do wrong."
"I'm going—you see I'm not trying to force it; I won't even touch you, but I won't give you up."
She did not answer, but stood with bowed head, the charm and grace of her figure outlined against the soft, warm glow of the room, her hands wrung together to hide their trembling. He turned at the door and looked back at her and she tried to smile. There is sometimes mortal agony behind a smile.
"Because I love you, John," she said, with a gesture of appeal.
He turned with a groan and went out into the night.