They came to the edge of the woods; before them was the old, tavernlike house, with Paul's expensive roof and Colonial porch, that had cost his aunt three years of bonnets. Rachel paused an instant.
"They wanted to cut away those cedars in summer," she said, in a lifeless voice, "but I wouldn't let them. I love their graceful shapes and they screen the garden. There are some box borders there a hundred years old. I planted one whole square to heliotrope and I could smell the blossoms fifty yards away. I suppose, though, you've seen heliotrope hedges?"
"I've seen swamps, mosquitoes and Filipinos," said John dryly.
"One would think you took no interest in it, yet I know you gave your heart and soul to the cause; that's your way, John."
"You think better of me than I deserve. At heart I'm a raging savage, selfish and revengeful."
She did not look at him, but his voice told her that he had recognized Belhaven as quickly as she had, and a deep flush of mortification rose slowly to her hair. He thought that she was actually Belhaven's wife and that she was enduring Belhaven's love-making to Eva. The thought sickened her, the impulse to tell him the truth tore her heart with the fierceness of passion. She saw his anger for her and loved him for it, while she shrank from the shame of her situation. Her wounded pride was in arms; the first sickening realization that Eva was again to blame was, for the moment, lost in her quickened sense of personal shame. She felt a complicity in Eva's guilt, for had she not helped her deceive Astry? Was not Astry now fully avenged? Her own act had recoiled upon herself; she was reaping as she had sown. Her own act had made it impossible for her to right herself in John's eyes; she could not tell him the truth without betraying Eva. Her lips were sealed. Meanwhile, they had reached the door of the house and John halted, his attitude unmistakable.
"It's teatime," she said, and her voice sounded strange, even in her own ears, "won't you come in?"
"Not to-day."
She did not hold out her hand; it was trembling and she put it behind her. "Tell Pamela that I shall expect you all to-morrow," she said, with an effort.
John was conscious of mumbling some reply, and she turned and went into the house.