Family Pride; Or, Purified by Suffering

by Mary Jane Holmes

"I ought to look older at twenty-three," she said. "Morris will think I have not mourned a bit, nor cared for Wilford," and another tear glistened on her eyelashes as she thought of being accused of forgetfulness of the dead.

Katy did look very young for twenty-three. Her health was perfect now, and save as the change in her character showed itself upon her face, she had scarcely changed at all since the day when she came home from Canandaigua with her heart and head so full of him who now lay sleeping in Greenwood.

"I know what's the matter. It's the net," she said, frowning disapprovingly upon the silken meshes which confined her hair. "Yes, it's nothing but this net which makes me look so young. Every schoolgirl wears one, and I have followed the fashion, letting it hang down my back in a way very unbecoming to a widow of my age. I'll take it off, or at all events I won't wear it to Linwood," and tossing aside the offending net, Katy bound her luxuriant hair in bands which she coiled around the back of her head and then put on the widow's cap, discarded so many months, and from which she shrank a little as she surveyed herself in the glass.

It was not exactly unbecoming; nothing could be unbecoming to that fair, open face, which, surrounded by the white border, looked much like a sweet baby's face, except that it was older; but it was now so long since Katy had seen anything of the kind, and as habit is everything, she was not quite as well pleased with her headgear as in New York, where such things were common. Nevertheless, she would wear it to Linwood, and she went for her round straw hat, but, alas, the sun hat which made her look so frightfully young was not made for the widow's cap, and casting it aside, Katy threw a thick black veil over her head, and then stepping to the door of the room where her mother and Aunt Betsy were busy at work, she said:

"I am going to Linwood, and shall stay there to dinner."

"In the name of the people, what has the child rigged herself out in that shape for?" Aunt Betsy exclaimed, letting fall the knife with which she was chopping cheese curd, and staring in astonishment. "I'd enough sight rather you'd frizzle your hair over rats, as Helen does, making herself look like some horned critter, than wear that heathenish thing. Why do you do it, Catherine?"

Catherine could not tell her, and laughing merrily at her aunt's animadversions against her own and Helen's style of hairdressing, she hurried away across the fields to Linwood. Aunt Betsy's surprise was in a measure shared by Helen, who, understanding Katy better, made no comments on her appearance, but smiled quietly at the air of matronly dignity which Katy had assumed, and which really sat so prettily upon her as she went from room to room to see what had been done, lingering longest in Morris' own apartment, opening from the library, where she made some alterations in the arrangement of the furniture, putting one chair a little more to the right, and pushing a stand or table to the left, just as her artistic eye dictated. By some oversight, no flowers had been put in there, but Katy gathered an exquisite bouquet and left it on the mantel, just where she remembered to have seen flowers when Morris was at home.

"He will he tired," she said. "He will lie down after dinner," and she laid a few sweet English violets upon the pillow, thinking their perfume might be grateful to him after the pent-up air of the hospital and cars. "He will think Helen put them there, or Mrs. Hull," she thought, as she stole softly out and shut the door behind her, glancing next at the clock, and feeling a little impatient that a whole hour must elapse before they could expect him.

Poor Morris! he did not dream how anxiously he was waited for at home, nor yet of the crowd assembled at the depot to welcome back the loved physician, whom they had missed so much, and whose name they had so often heard coupled with praise as a true hero, even though his post was not in the front of the battle. Thousands had been cared for by him, their gaping wounds dressed skillfully, their aching heads soothed tenderly, and their last moments made happier by the words he spoke to them of the world to which they were going, where there is no more war or shedding of man's blood. In the churchyard at Silverton there were three soldiers' graves, whose pale occupants had each died with Dr. Grant's hand held tightly in his, as if afraid that he would leave them before the dark river was crossed, while in more than one Silverton home there was a wasted form on which the soldier coat hung loosely, who never tired of telling Dr. Morris' praise and dwelling on his goodness. But Dr. Morris was not thinking of this as, faint and sick, with the green shade before his eyes, he leaned against the pile of shawls his companion had placed for his back and wondered if they were almost there.

"I smell the pond lilies; we must he near Silverton," he said, and a sigh escaped his lips as he thought of coming home and not being able to see it or the woods and fields around it. "Thy will be done," he had said many times since the fear first crept into his heart that for him the light had faded.