That was what she said, and George, listening to her, felt as if it were an angel’s presence in which he stood. He could not disturb her. She was in safer hands than his, and he would rather leave her thus,—would rather think of her when far away, just as he saw her last, kneeling in her desolation and praying for him.
“It will help to make me a better man,” he said, and brushing aside the great tears swimming in his eyes, he left his angel Annie, and went on his way to battle.
Just off from Rockland’s main street, and in a cottage more humble than that of George Graham, the sun shone on another parting,—on Widow Simms giving up her boys, and straining every nerve to look composed, and keep back the maternal love throbbing so madly at her heart. Rigid as if cut in stone were the lines upon her forehead and around her mouth, as she bustled about, doing everything exactly as it should be done, and coming often to where Isaac sat trying to look unconcerned and whistling “Dixie” as he pulled on the soft, warm pair of socks she had sat up nights to knit him. Eli and John had some too, snugly tucked away in their bundle, but Isaac’s were different. She had ravelled her own lamb’s wool stockings for the material composing his, for Isaac’s feet were tender; there were marks of chilblains on them; they would become sore and swollen from the weary march, and his mother would not be there with soothing lint and ointment made from the blue poke-berries. Great pains had the widow taken with her breakfast that morning, preparing each son’s favorite dish and bringing out the six china cups and damask cloth, part of her grandmother’s bridal dower. It was a very tempting table, and John and Eli tried to eat, exchanging meaning smiles when they saw their mother put in Isaac’s cup the biggest lump of sugar, and the largest share of cream. They did not care,—for they too loved the fair-haired, smooth-faced boy sipping the yellow coffee he could not drink for the mysterious bunches rising so fast in his throat. The breakfast was over now. Isaac was trying on his socks, while Eli and John, knowing their mother would rather be alone when she said good-bye to her baby, prepared to start, talking quite loud, and keeping up stout courage till the last moment came, when both the tall, six-foot young men put their arms around the widow’s neck, and faltered a faint “Good-bye, mother, good-bye.”
There were no tears in the mother’s eyes, nor in the sons’, but in the breast of each there was a whirlpool of raging waters, hurting far more than if they had been suffered to overflow in torrents. Eli was the first to go, for John lingered a moment. There was something he would say, something which made him blush and stammer.
“Mother,” he began, “I saw Susan last night. We went to Squire Harding’s together; and,—and,—well, ’taint no use opposing it now,—Susan and I are one; and if I shouldn’t come back, be good to her, for my sake. Susan’s a nice girl, mother,” and on the brown, bearded cheek, there was a tear, wrung out by thoughts of only last night’s bride, Susan Ruggles, whose family the widow did not like, and had set herself against.
There was no help now, and a sudden start was all the widow’s answer. She was not angry, John knew; and satisfied with this, he joined his brother in the yard, where he was cutting his name upon the beech tree. Thrice the widow called them back, failing each time to remember what she wanted to say. “It was something, sure,” and the hard hands worked nervously, twisting up the gingham apron into a roll, smoothing it out again and working at the strings, until Eli and John passed from the yard, and left her standing there, watching them as they walked down the road. They were a grand-looking couple, she thought, as she saw how well they kept step. They were to march together to the depot, she knew, and nobody in town could turn out a finer span, but who would go with Isaac?—“Stub,” his brothers called him. She hoped it might be Judge Warner’s son,—it would be such an honor; and that brought her back to the fact that Isaac was waiting for her inside; that the hardest part of all was yet to come, the bidding him good-bye. He was not in the chair where she had left him sitting, but was standing by the window, and raising often to his eyes his cotton handkerchief. He heard his mother come in, and turning toward her, said, with a sobbing laugh:
“I wish the plaguy thing was over.”
She thought he meant the war, and answered that “it would be in a few months, perhaps.”
“I don’t mean that, I mean the telling you good-bye. Mother, oh, mother!” and the warm-hearted boy clasped his mother to his bosom, crying like a child; “if I’ve ever been mean to you,” he said, his voice choked with tears—“if I’ve ever been mean to you, or done a hateful thing you’ll forget it when I’m gone? I never meant to be bad and the time I made that face, and called you an old fool, when I was a little boy, you don’t know how sorry I felt, nor how long I cried in the trundle-bed after you were asleep. You’ll forget it, won’t you, when I am gone, never to come back, maybe? Will you, mother, say?”