The location of the house greatly affects the family life. Ideally, it should be a separate dwelling, with a porch for outdoor social life, a garden where all members of the family have room to work and play, with rooms enough for individual privacy; and it should be owned, not rented.
The minimum income on which two people may advisably marry will depend largely upon their degree of adaptability, patience, and sense of humor. Acquaintance before marriage may safely be not less than a year and preferably two, not only for thorough and sincere acquaintance, but for the possibility of the reaction and even repulsion that is so likely to follow a violent case of love on short acquaintance. If love is too ardent, it needs this discipline of patience and restraint. If it is deep enough to last through the rest of time, it will stand the test of waiting.
Having established their home, husband and wife may well cultivate their love wisely, seeing that it does not starve from lack of service in little thoughtfulnesses; that it is not surfeited by too much of sweetness or selfish expression; that it is protected by residence separate from relatives, friends, strangers; that both have individual social life and friends and pursuits so that they do not become wearisome to each other; that they busy themselves in some mutual objective interest—social welfare, club, lodge work or a reading course. The few minutes spent together each day in gaining inspiration, either in religious worship, or reading from some great book, or singing noble songs, will do much to keep the family life harmonious and to reduce the petty frictions. It is well to agree on the first day—and carry through the agreement—that if misunderstanding or the least suspicion arises, it shall be frankly and thoroughly faced, discussed, and eliminated, remembering that it is “the little rift within the lute” that silences the music. Then, as the poet sings:
“Through the long years liker must they grow,
The man be more of woman, she of man;
He gain in sweetness and in moral height,
Nor lose the wrestling thews that throw the world,
She, mental breadth, nor fail in childward care,
Nor lose the childlike in the larger mind;
Until at last she set herself to man