Maria was not long in carrying out her scheme, and Malvolio was immediately caught with the bait. Having once got into his mind the absurd idea that the Countess Olivia was in love with him, he began weaving plans of what he should do when he was advanced to the high position of her husband. His ambitious meditations were overheard by the conspirators, for Maria had run into the garden to warn them of his approach.
“Get all three into the box-tree,” she cried; “Malvolio is coming down this walk. He has been yonder in the sun practising behaviour to his own shadow this half-hour. Observe him, for the love of mockery, for I know this letter will make an idiot of him. Hide, in the name of jesting!... Lie thou there,” she added, throwing down a letter, “for here comes the trout that must be caught with tickling.”
“It is but fortune—all is fortune,” murmured Malvolio, as he paced along with solemn stride. “Maria once told me that she liked me, and I have heard herself go so far as to say that if ever she fancied anyone, it should be one of my complexion. Besides, she treats me with more exalted respect than any one else of her followers. What should I think of it?”
Malvolio’s imagination now soared beyond all bounds, and he marched up and down, pluming himself like a turkey-cock.
“To be Count Malvolio!” he exclaimed in ecstasy, and forthwith began to consider how he should comport himself in that exalted sphere.
“Having been three months married to her, sitting in my state,” he mused, gesticulating to himself as if all he described were really taking place, “calling my officers about me, in my branched velvet gown, and telling them I knew my place, as I wished they should know theirs, I would ask for my kinsman Toby. Seven of my people, with an obedient start, make for him; I frown the while, and perchance wind up my watch, or play with my—some rich jewel. Toby approaches, bows humbly to me——”
“Shall this fellow live?” cried the exasperated real Sir Toby in the box-tree.
“I extend my hand to him thus, quenching my familiar smile with an austere regard of control——”
“And does not Toby give you a blow on the lips then?” fumed the hearer.
“Saying, ‘Cousin Toby, my fortunes having cast me on your niece, give me this privilege of speech. You must amend your drinking habits. Besides, you waste the treasure of your time with a foolish knight——’”