"Now children," said Puss, as she shook her head,
"It is time your morning lesson was said:"
So her kittens drew near with footsteps slow,
And sat down before her, all in a row.
"Attention, class!" said the cat-mamma,
"And tell me quick where your noses are."
At this all the kittens sniffed the air
As though it were filled with a perfume rare.
"Now what do you say when you want a drink?"
The kittens waited a moment to think,
And then the answer came clear and loud—
You ought to have heard how those kittens meow'd!
"Very well. 'Tis the same, with a sharper tone,
When you want a fish or a bit of bone.
Now what do you say when children are good?"
And the kittens purred as soft as they could.
"And what do you do when children are bad?
When they tease and pull?" each kitty looked sad.
"Pooh!" said their mother, "that isn't enough;
You must use your claws when children are rough!"
"And where are your claws? no, no, my dear,
(As she took up a paw) see! they're hidden here:"
Then all the kittens crowded about
To see their sharp little claws brought out.
They felt quite sure they never should need
To use such weapons—oh, no, indeed!
But their wise mamma gave a pussy's "pshaw!"
And boxed their ears with her softest paw.
"Now 'Stpisss!' as hard as you can," she said—
But every kitten hung down its head—
"Stpisss! I say," cried the mother cat,
But they said, "O mammy we can't do that!"
"Then go and play," said the fond mamma;
"What sweet little idiots kittens are!
Ah well, I was once the same, I suppose"—
And she looked very wise and rubbed her nose.
————————
Twistan Turnem, let me see,
Which is the way to Tweedle-dee?
Why, turn about the way you've come,
And take the road to Tweedle-dum.
————————
WANDERING JOE.
Tell me, O wandering Joe!
How many miles did you go?
Why, one to my mother's,
And three to my brother's,
And just half a dozen
To hunt up a cousin;
And half a mile yonder
A hen-roost to plunder;
And three half miles back
To cover the track.
Then a half and a half
To water the calf,
And a half and a quarter
Before I found water;
Add a quarter to that,
When I chased a black bat;
Then two to town,
To see Jim Brown;
And two, and none,
And one for fun,
And one for luck,
And one for pluck;
And one for trouble,
And two for double;
And then 'twas best
To sit and rest.
And now, my friend, says Joe,
How many miles did I go?