By the same, I require of you with instance, Madame, in honour of the Passion of Jesus Christ, not to keep me longer in this miserable suspense, which is more cruel than any certainty, but to let me fully know your will, and if it be to grant my prayer, I promise to make one for you at my death for your salvation, and for your prosperity in this world in the grace of God. And if you refuse me, I will endeavour to bear it patiently, thanking you still for leaving me no longer to languish in this miserable condition, of which I wish you knew the truth of the sufferings of my poor servants, who are losing their time and their health. For the rest, if at the hour of my death I should wish to divulge to you some secret, and of which it might be of importance to you that no one should have knowledge, being my last words, I desire to know in whom I may confide, as there are some who might, through habit, speak about it too freely, or refrain from telling it, from some reason of their own. Well, then, I pray God grant you as much happiness in this world as I expect in leaving it, through His mercy, which I beg for myself and for all those who persecute me, and this happiness, of being freed from so many miseries by an innocent death; and I desire to forgive any who otherwise calumniate me and mine, if there be any.... And I hope that by my death, which is so much wished for, you and several others will experience what may be of use, and serve to clear up many things in which God may be glorified. I implore His Divine Majesty that all shall conduce to His honour and to your edification and preservation, and that of this whole island, for the salvation of which I would willingly give my life, nor would refuse to desert it, even were I in a better condition. I am not able to speak willingly of him[82] in whose service, as of that of our country, I am useless, nor of the special good I wish you, being so near you in blood—seeing that, on the contrary, I serve for a pretext to others who discharge their malice against me and mine for certain reasons, which, as well as my own intentions, I leave to the judgment of the just Judge.—Your sister and imprisoned cousin,
Marye.
From my prison of Fotheringay, the 12th of January 1587.
When the letter was written, Sir Amyas continued to throw every possible hindrance in the way of its transmission. The Queen begged him to come to see her, offering to show him her letter and close it in his presence as before; but Paulet, "being in bed motionless and with one of his arms bandaged," replied that he could not possibly move, or walk to go to her, that he much regretted it, and would go to her as soon as he could; and so for the next two days the question continued to be discussed by means of messages between the Queen and Paulet, but in spite of conciliating speeches on the part of the latter, it ended in the letter never being despatched.
From the 20th of January the chronicle becomes more and more interesting, and we shall as far as possible give Bourgoing's own words:—
"On Friday 20th January Melville went to speak to Sir Amyas about our supplies and the usual pension, and about a servant and our wages. To which he received fairly courteous replies; (Sir Amyas) refusing him, however, a servant, but saying that he thought means might be found for sending us our wages. Upon this last point we founded our hopes that all was not at extremity.
"On Saturday 21st Sir Amyas sent to fetch Mr. Melville, Mr. Bourgoing, and Monsieur de Préau, at which we were quite astonished, not knowing what it could mean. And this last named (de Préau), not wishing to go to him, as he was not in a suitable dress, according to his rank, remained behind until the same Melville and Bourgoing went to speak to him (Paulet), to whom he refused to speak, saying he had nothing to say to them unless de Préau should come. From this, still more puzzled, we concluded that it was on account of him alone that we were summoned, fearing among other things that they wished to separate him (from the Queen).
"M. de Préau, therefore, dressed as he was, borrowed a cloak, and when we were all three come to Sir Amyas, he addressed himself to the said Bourgoing, saying he had sent for him specially, as he had something to say to him, as also to the said sirs, Melville and de Préau, which he wished me to report to Her Majesty, as he would have done himself could he have gone to her.
"Sir Amyas then continued that he had something to tell them which he knew would be pleasing neither to the Queen nor to Melville, whom he had always seen to be a faithful servant to his mistress, but that there was no remedy, and he must take it in good part. Both he and de Préau, said Paulet, were to be separated from their mistress for the present; they were not to go into her presence, but were to retire to their own rooms. As de Préau was lodged so near the Queen as to make it impossible to prevent his going to her, Paulet had arranged that he should lodge in one of Melville's rooms. They were not to be prisoners, and were to do as they pleased, with the exception of seeing the Queen. And when M. Melville, protesting the sorrow that this gave him, his only consolation being to be near his mistress, and begging to be permitted to see her and to bid her farewell, Sir Amyas replied that he could not give him leave, and that it was not necessary; he saw nothing yet which should prevent his returning to her as usual, and that he must be patient for the present. M. de Préau, protesting also his regret, said the same.