"No," replied the Queen vehemently, "I will do no such thing. I have nothing to do with him, and I neither wish to see him nor to listen to him. Let no one take any more trouble to persuade me. I see well that they would wish to destroy my soul together with my body if they could, but they will not succeed. I hope that God will have mercy upon me, as I have already prepared myself (for death). He knows my heart, my will, my intentions, and what is my desire and resolve. He will succour me and grant me pardon for my faults. It surprises me that at the end, when I have most need of my priest, they refuse him to me; I had asked to have him, especially to assist me at my last end. The Queen of England had granted my request and had allowed him to come to me; and since then they have taken him from me and prevented him from coming at the most necessary time,—a thing too cruel and inhuman, and unworthy of Englishmen."[113] The commissioners again declared that it was against their conscience to allow her to see her chaplain, and denied having known that he had been previously permitted to return to Fotheringay.
In the midst of so much painful discussion, and under the trial of being denied the only consolation she desired, Kent's next words must have brought a great joy to Mary. She who had so often and so ardently wished to shed her blood for her faith, was now to be given good cause of thinking her desires were about to be fulfilled. Kent told the Queen "that it had been decided that she could not live without endangering the state, the life of the Queen, and the religion. Your life," said he, "would be the death of our religion, your death will be its life."[114]
"I was far," exclaimed Mary, "from thinking myself worthy of such a death, and I humbly receive it as a token of my admission among the elect servants of God."[115] Mary begged to know whether the other powers had interceded for her. She was told that they had done so, but that not one of them could show a good reason why she should not be put to death. She then spoke of her son, complaining of his conduct to her, but she was told that he had done all that was in his power, and that she ought to die in charity. "I forgive every one," replied Mary, "and accuse no one; but I may follow David's example and pray God to confound and punish His enemies and those of His divinity and religion, and pardon our enemies."
The Queen asked when she was to die. "Tomorrow morning at eight o'clock,"[116] replied Shrewsbury in faltering tones. Mary remarked that the time was very short. She had been unable, she said, to make her will for want of her papers and the account books of her household. She again asked to be permitted to see her chaplain, and to have her papers restored to her. Both requests were unavailing. Her papers, she was told, were in Wade's hands, who was then in France. The Queen then anxiously inquired what Queen Elizabeth had decided regarding her place of burial, and whether she would permit her body to lie beside her royal husband's in St. Denis, or at least by her mother in the church of St. Peter at Rheims.
The lords replied that their mistress would not allow her to be buried in France. "At least then," continued Mary, "my requests in favour of my servants will be granted?" They replied that they had no instructions on this point, but that they saw nothing which should prevent her attendants acting as she wished and having their goods. The lords and their party now withdrew. As they were bowing farewell to the Queen, she asked them what had become of Nau and Curle.
"We do not know," they replied.
"Is Nau dead?" said Mary.
"No," they answered; and Drury added, "He has not escaped; he still drags his fetters."
"Her Majesty," says Bourgoing, "said that she was to die for him who accused her, and who caused her to die to save himself."
The commissioners told her that she was under their guardianship, but that from this moment they entrusted her to Sir Amyas's care, to be delivered to them when they should come.