He helped us get Aggie down to her cabin, but unluckily he put her down on Tish’s knitting. We had the misfortune to hear a slow hissing sound, and her inflated suit began to wilt immediately, where a steel needle had penetrated it.
Even then both Tish and I noticed that he had a sad face, and later on, when we had put Aggie to bed in her life suit, for she refused to have it taken off, we sat in Tish’s cabin across, listening to Aggie’s moans and to his story.
Tish had immediately demanded to know why he was not in the uniform of a fighting man, and he said at once: “I’m glad you asked me that. I’ve been wanting to tell the whole ship about it, but it’s so darned ridiculous. I’ve tried every branch and they’ve all turned me down, for a—for a physical infirmity.”
“No. The truth is, I’ve had a milk leg. Fact. I know it is—er—generally limited to the other sex at—er—certain periods. But I’ve had it. Can’t hike any distance. Can’t run. Couldn’t even kick a Hun,” he added bitterly. “And what’s more, there’s a girl on this ship who thinks I’m a slacker, and I can’t tell her about it. She wouldn’t believe me if I did—though why a fellow would make up a milk leg I don’t know. And she’d laugh. Everybody laughs. I’ve made a lot of people happy.”
“Why don’t you tell her you have heart disease?” Tish inquired in a gentler tone. Though not young herself she has preserved a fine interest in the love affairs of youth.
“Oh, I’ve got that all right,” he said gloomily. “But it’s not the sort that keeps a fellow out of the Army. It’s—well, that doesn’t matter. But suppose I told her that? She wouldn’t marry me with heart disease.”
“Tish!” Aggie called faintly.
In the end we were obliged to cut the rubber suit off with the scissors, as she not only refused to get up but wanted to drown if we were torpedoed. We therefore did not see the young man again until evening, and then he was with a very pretty girl in a Y. M. C. A. uniform. We had gone up on deck for air, and Tish was looking for the captain. She had a theory that if we could put Aggie in a hammock she would feel better, as the hammock would remain stationary while the ship rocked. Just as we passed them, the girl said: “He’s the best-looking man on the ship anyhow. And he’s a captain in the infantry. He says it is the most dangerous branch of the service.”
“Oh, he does, does he?” said the Red Cross young man. “Well, you’d better wait six months before you fall too hard for him. He may get his face changed, and there isn’t much behind it.”