[64] This phrase sustains the metaphor better than that in F of F—B: “puts in a word.”
[65] This entire paragraph is added to F of F—B; it is in rough draft in S-R fr.
[66] This is changed in the MS of Mathilda from “a violent thunderstorm.” Evidently Mary decided to avoid using another thunderstorm at a crisis in the story.
[67] The passage “It is true ... I will” is on a slip of paper pasted across the page.
[68] In the revision from F of F—B the style of this whole episode becomes more concise and specific.
[69] An improvement over the awkward phrasing in F of F—B: “a friend who will not repulse my request that he would accompany me.”
[70] These two paragraphs are not in F of F—B; portions of them are in S-R fr.
[71] This speech is greatly improved in style over that in F of F—B, more concise in expression (though somewhat expanded), more specific. There are no corresponding S-R fr to show the process of revision. With the ideas expressed here cf. Shelley, Julian and Maddalo, ll. 182-187, 494-499, and his letter to Claire in November, 1820 (Julian Works, X, 226). See also White, Shelley, II, 378.
[72] This solecism, copied from F of F—B, is not characteristic of Mary Shelley.
[73] This paragraph prepares for the eventual softening of Mathilda’s feeling. The idea is somewhat elaborated from F of F—B. Other changes are necessitated by the change in the mode of presenting the story. In The Fields of Fancy Mathilda speaks as one who has already died.